LOL

There are no words...

Jason Segel & his dick in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"

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BRITNEY SPEARS has certainly come a long way since her dramatic breakdown in January. Back then she was looking bloated, spotty and a million miles away from the fresh faced young teen who made it big with Hit Me Baby One More Time.

But, she's now back to looking great, as you can see in this picture of her imitating the front cover Vanity Fair, featuring Pretty Woman star JULIA ROBERTS. Clutching a rose with her teeth, Britney holds up the magazine with a huge smile on her face.

The picture has been released at the same time as reports suggesting that the star is due to make a spectacular comeback worth a whopping £5MILLION.

According to a source who spoke to our sister paper The News Of The World, the singer is poised to perform at a mega-bucks one-off Las Vegas show, followed by a string of dates.

The source confirmed: "The concert will be one to top them all - a spectacle.

"It will have jaw-dropping lights, amazing costumes and a performance from Britney to roll back the years."

Britney last had a No1 single in the UK in 2004.

She will play the gig at Palms Hotel And Casino in Las Vegas at the end of the year.

Her record company, Sony BMG, have given the thumbs-up despite Britney's shambolic show at the MTV Video Music Awards last year.

Ya gotta wonder if they feel any shame at all or just pure adrenaline...

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OMG, I can't wait to see all the Britney & Mel Gibson Costa Rica vacation photos!

Ahhh don't blink cause it shows up on the internets the next day... Source

LOL & you're totally not supposed to swing like that.

K-Fed's Piling On The Pounds

Kevin Federline? Looks more like Kevin Well-Fed-erline! Yes, this is the toned back-up dancer who, just four years ago, turned Britney Spears' head, and talked her into marriage. But now, as a single dad, Kevin spends most of his time on diaper duty for their two kids, instead of keeping trim in the dance studio -- and it shows. Kevin, who turns 30 this month, debuted his less-than-svelte look when he hit the links in L.A. this weekend. And we thought it was Britney who's at the center of new pregnancy talk!

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LOL

The House Oversight and Government Reform Committee has announced that an investigation will be launched to address charges of substance abuse by pop superstar Britney Spears. Spears has been involved in several incidents of bizarre behavior during the past year, but vehemently denies use of any eccentric performance enhancing drugs. Lawmakers promise a thorough, star-studded investigation lasting until election day, if necessary.

"Americans have the right to know if Ms. Spears behavior is chemically induced." said Henry Waxman, California Congressman and Chairman of the Committee. "The people want to know if she's a drugged-up, attention-starved publicity hound, or just plain nuts. It's our duty to find out."

»»» Watch the original & compare.

Britney: So, mean!
Britney (to felipe): Drive my car, drive my car...
He goes for the drivers seat and she goes for the front seat which means kicking out the bodyguard hired by her parents so she could leave him there.

She's really good @ ditching people

Then X17 gives her their phone to call Adnan.
She passes it back to them.
Insanity @ the Beverly Hills Hotel.

At the beginning of all of yesterday's madness, Britney was found driving somewhat aimlessly, with a man purported to be a bodyguard.

Looking extremely unhappy with her escort (you can see them arguing in the video), Britney eventually traded him for her pap friend Felipe (who took over driving duties), but it was another paparazzo who seemed desperate to get in touch with her: Adnan.

X17 photogs tried to deliver the message, and eventually lent her their phone to talk to him!

Felipe drove Britney to the Beverly Hills Hotel where she finally met up with Adnan.

X17 photogs say he stayed with her all night, leaving her house at 2am!

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Hey, at least she is wearing underwear! Right people!

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LO fucking L

Kevin Federline has reportedly been writing new songs and has spent time in the recording studio on an album in which he is spilling all about his tumultuous life with Britney Spears and his hatred for the media, OK reports.

"Kevin always says, 'The world will have no choice but to hear me when my album comes out,'" the source tells OK! "Kevin started working on this album soon after the divorce but he did not get the focus that he needed until the custody battle began to heat up. He thinks that there will be pent-up demand for the record, because of how little he's talking to the media."

According to the source, K-Fed plans to use his second album to tell his side of the story, in his own words. Britney's name is not mentioned, but others are, according to the insider, like "Jezebel (she was a evil queen of the bible )," "Drug Addiction" and "She." "He is very keen about protecting his image now, which he thinks is better than it ever was because of Britney's self-destruction," says the source.

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IDK if it's LOL | Source

LOL - Dlisted

Wow, Britney had a really busy day doing everything she wasn't supposed to do.

She did show up to court only to run away because she was "scared" of the paparazzi. Leading her to head to a church where she caused even more of a ruckus with Fox News helicopter documenting it and even more paparazzi. Followed by lunch @ Gaucho Grill In Studio City where she was smiling @ paparazzi.

So can someone please tell me how you leave one place because you are scared of them only to go to another place and smile for their camera?

Anyway you know it was the gay paparazzi boyfriend's idea to stop @ the church and pray because of all his rosary wearing.

My full report of the day is here.

Need a pics fix? Way more @ the sources:

Britney Arriving and Leaving the Los Angeles County Superior courthouse

Britney and Sam at the Little Brown Church in Van Nuy

PoorBritney

Sources tell "The Insider" that Britney Spears spoke with a British accent during her stay at Cedars-Sinai hospital last Friday. While Dr. Phil wouldn't comment on that during our exclusive interview, he did say that the troubled pop star needs to be in treatment.

"She needs to be in in-patient care for a period of time," he advises. "Is she having a rough time right now? Yes, she is. Why? I'm not really going to go into that at this point. But I can tell you this is a good person and I truly believe she'll get back to being a good person."

The Insider

UPDATE: It isn’t the first time she changed her voice. On December 17, she spoke in the same accent while chatting with photographers outside the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills.

What does it mean?

“She’s having identity issues,” NYC-based psychotherapist Dr. Robi Ludwig tells Usmagazine.com of the pop star, who recently lost custody of her children.

Jayden James tried in vain to escape from Britney's home while in her custody this past week... LOL

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October 11, 2007: This celebutard was talking smack at a party about a guest who is a blinged out top male singer/producer. Word got to the singer and he made sure that whenever our celebutard started hitting on a woman, the singer would involve himself into the conversation and get the woman to come with him. Even though he was getting paid to be at the party, our celebutard left early and left pissed.

Kevin Federline / Kanye West

September 14, 2007: This celebutard (the male version of celebutante) with the prolific sperm has been trying to hide his relationship with this C/D list actress because her former boyfriend, a B list film star with A list name recognition has threatened to kick the crap out of the celebutard if he sees him with his ex. The c'tard acts tough but is scared out of his mind.

Kevin Federline / Nicole Narain / Colin Farrell

10. A Night On The Town

9. "Mommy's a bad driver"

Kathy Griffin was doing some "last minute Christmas shopping" and says she loves Britney's new CD.

They mentioned Britney was dating a "paparazzo" and Kathy says "why not?"

They asked of she thought Brit would shave her head again and she said she thought she would shave her sister's head and they'll be "i think there's gonna be a lot of bald Spears in the future." That all the Spears family would shave their head in the new year.

They asked about Jamie Lynn and she said she's "just glad she met the baby daddy in church" and asked why she could just "take a fall" and not have the kid.

Merry Christmas Kathy and to all a good night!

TMZ